Eject button

Everyone and anyone should have access to an eject button twice a month. You press the button and are immediately transported to your destination of choice for the remainder of the day. It comes in handy if you're having a bad day, have reached your stress level limit, cannot take one more minute in traffic, do not want to hear one more depressing news story, or just need a brief escape to regain sanity. But only twice a month to avoid abuse of the eject button.

This bench in Carmel is my destination of choice.

(by the way, I took that photo with a disposable camera before I had the digital one)

Those clever Swedes...

My coworker shared a fun article this morning about a library in the Swedish city of Malmö where you check out "Living Books" - as in, people. This was a special one-weekend-only project intended to "tear down prejudices about different religions, nationalities, or professions" by way of a 45-minute chat.

You could sit down with a journalist, gypsy, blind man, or other locally recruited person of interest (nine total) in the library's cafe, and ask questions about their lives, jobs or beliefs.

What a great concept! The project may continue if it's a success.

The proof is in the testing

I read a fantastic op-ed column on the New York Times Web site today titled “Show Me the Science.” It’s about evolution vs. “intelligent design” written by a philosophy professor at Tufts University. He provides clear, well-written insight as to why science has a gigantic edge against non-scientific evolution theories. One of my favorite quotes from the column:

“To formulate a competing hypothesis, you have to get down in the trenches and offer details that have testable implications. So far, intelligent design proponents have conveniently sidestepped that requirement, claiming that they have no specifics in mind about who or what the intelligent designer might be.”

We will be much better off as a species if we stick to science.

It worries me that people, especially the president, are serious about teaching unscientific theories to students in, uh, science classes. When our society starts wandering away from logic and common sense in teaching, we risk providing false, untested information without solid reasoning to future generations.

Smaller than ants

This photo comes from a recent Photos of the Week section on MSNBC, courtesy NASA.

To me, it's a friendly reminder, and hello from the Discovery shuttle, of how small we are.

We're smaller than ants from this angle. Let me tell you, if my mirror made me look this small, my body insecurities and those of most women would disappear... into space, no less.

It's no wonder...

Today's what-a-fool quote comes from a story on CNN's Web site (posted yesterday). The headline is Robertson Apologizes for Assassination Call, referring to the religious broadcaster's opinion against Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez. Pat Robertson's "apology" includes:

"I didn't say 'assassination.' I said our special forces should
'take him out.' "

Um, I think it's safe to say that "take him out" and "assassination" are pretty much the same thing. It's no wonder Americans aren't popular right now.

I can't believe I dated an "Alfie"

It is here, my first blog. I'm actually doing it... why, I'm not exactly sure, but why not? I enjoy reading thoughts and ideas shared by others so why not contribute to this mad new world of blogging. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I've decided to begin with a recent "rant" I posted on Craigslist. It was a reaction to my own self-realization that I have been dating the wrong type of guy. I received good feedback from people who could relate so perhaps it will touch others. Enjoy:

I just saw the movie "Alfie" and not only does Jude Law's character remind me of my ex but ironically, the ex recently reappeared asking my forgiveness for being a jerk (by the way, I'm the Marisa Tomei character in this scenario minus the fact I don't have kids). Don't worry, lesson learned and I would never date him again. We talked things through and are “friends” but not without a little ranting and raving on my end first to get it out of the system...

You know how you see potential in someone and you want so badly for them to figure that out while you're with them? There’s that feeling that you might have found someone sincerely wonderful with almost all the qualities you desire and you’re willing to overlook the flaws... and then you realize that although they're funny, clever, smart and charming, in truth they're actually very confused liars and their soul is empty? That is my Alfie.

We were together 11 months and you think as a smart woman I would have figured out how little I meant to him, but it wasn't until the last month (and a good friend who repeatedly chanted break-up-with-the-loser) that I finally gathered the nerve to break up with him. Let me quickly go through some of the clear signs I ignored in my ignorant state of bliss:

• he ignored me at a sporting event he was playing in; he ignored me because he was flirting with the woman I stood next to when I walked up to say hello during half-time.

• I went to a different sporting event with him plus an old-crush-but-we're-friends-now of his; now you'd think someone interested in their girlfriend would be courteous and sit in the middle. He actually sat next to her, leaving her in between us. (Yes, I told him how I felt about this and he said I was being silly… in all the scenarios I list here, Alfie, a.k.a. the ex, had brilliant responses that cleverly turned everything back on me)

• He talked about moving in together ONCE and when we went out with friends he announced it to everyone. What?? He even said I didn't care where we moved when someone asked about location. He never even asked my opinion.

• Me: I'll be out of the country for two weeks, would you please check my mail twice a week or feel free to just live at my place for two weeks? (he has roommates)... Him: I don't want to but thanks for asking.

• Me: Let's take a road trip ... Him: No, don’t feel like it.

I could go on but you get the idea. Anyway, I finally realize that he loves ALL women and can't possibly be happy with me. And you know what, I wasn’t happy either and finally opened my eyes to a guy who was disrespectful, selfish, status-oriented, money-obsessed (yet rarely picked up the tab and let me pay for practically everything), constantly flirted with anything female, never asked how my day was… there I go again. Where was I? Oh, yes, so I break up with him and two days later he's with someone else (I learned this from the roommate); by the way, he had been in touch with this new girlfriend months before our breakup. Ah, ignorant bliss and hindsight - what a combo.

Fast forward four months later and he gets in touch, he comes over and we talk. (For the record, I invited him over – I don’t hate the guy, I’m over it and willing to be friends.) So he comes over looking for forgiveness because he realizes he was a jerk - or maybe he came over to clear his conscience and move on with a clean slate. Doesn't matter. So how did he come to this conclusion? HE'S DATING HIMSELF. He actually told me that he is now in my shoes during our relationship and she is him. He wants her to love him. Anyway, he just wanted to clear the air and apologize and that took guts; for that I give him credit. What I don’t give him credit for is the fact that he had the selfish balls to actually say “I just want you to know I never lied to you, I only told white lies” – Um, I’m sorry?… did you pour the lies through a spaghetti strainer and let only the little white lies pour out?? Puhleeze.

So I’ve come full circle with Alfie. I didn’t want to see what a punk he was in the beginning because he does ooze charm and I got stuck in it. Yes, it’s my fault and I take responsibility for not recognizing a sincerely good guy when I see one. But you know what, I’m okay being friends because it was a good lesson for me and he’s not a bad person – just a selfish, charming… you know.

My two tips for women who haven't had dated an Alfie yet:

1) Never date an Alfie (unless you need a good lesson!)

2) When someone truly loves you, they’ll make the effort without being asked. Simple as that. "Don't let anyone be reckless with your heart."

Did I mention you should never date an Alfie? Okay, good. Just checking.