"Gangstas" can dress smart, too

The NBA dress code story and opinions are interesting because my opinion on the matter, and it’s only my opinion, covers personal experience with two main perspectives. First, I have friends across the board: hip-hop “gangsta” types to uptight corporate types. And when you get to know them, none of them actually live up to the stereotype placed on them because of their appearance. Second, I work for a living just like the NBA men do. The basketball court is their workplace.

Here’s why I’m mentioning the NBA story in the first place. I was watching a program I like and the Caucasian host was interviewing one of his favorite African-American NBA players and he said: “Don’t you feel like this dress code issue has racial undertones?” And I found the response by the player to be very honest and thought-provoking: “You know, no. I dress up in a suit on my own because I like to and plenty of my teammates dress in their own style. For them it might feel that way but a black man can wear a suit just like a white man can.”

See how he spun that? Think about it.

What is wrong with a black man, woman or any other person from various backgrounds wearing a suit? It doesn’t make you white, it simply makes you appear professional. And believe me, I have seen plenty of men (and women) in suits and "smart-casual attire" act inappropriately – so the suit doesn’t make the person, not after you meet them anyhow.

I wear whatever I want when I’m not at work and when I’m at work, I do dress professionally because I want to present myself in a manner that garners respect (not that I get any) for myself and for my organization. Yes, it’s required but I also want to be taken seriously when I meet with a vendor or client.

The basketball court is the workplace for the basketball stars. I agree that some of the commissioner’s dress code requests might be a bit much but to present the NBA in a slightly more professional manner when you’re sidelined doesn’t have to take away from who you are as a person. Like I mentioned, anyone can still be a jerk in a suit or semi-professional attire – but wear it because you like what you do for a living and you want to be taken seriously.

Save your street clothes for when you’re off the clock, like I do. Tomorrow’s kids, also known as our future and the people taking care of us when we’re old, are looking up to you – don’t you, as a player and role model, want to keep a little respect moving across the generations? It's not too much to ask when given thought, show a little respect and you’ll get some in return.

And for the record, all my black friends say I dance good for a white girl. Peace out.

Pumpkin carving has changed

Ah, October. Crisp air, colorful leaves, a group of friends and stenciled pumpkins.

That’s right, stenciled pumpkins. One more reason to be lazy. See the pumpkin on the far right in the photo? That’s my pumpkin. The market is crawling with fancy carving tools but I opted to go the big spoon and kitchen knife route this year. I’m surprised nobody else followed, c’mon guys, remember how fun it was to use our imagination when we were young?

Look, it has ears. Extra points for the nostrils, too, I say. It was supposed to have two teeth but I accidentally chopped one. I lost control of the kitchen knife.

Conveniently speaking

I am not a clothing label person. In fact, I only shop when absolutely necessary. Quality, yes. Style, sure. Oversized logo on the side of my sunglasses, no.

So imagine my surprise when on my way home last night, after realizing I had forgotten marinara sauce and had a friend coming over for dinner, the woman behind the convenience store counter asked “Is that an I. Magnin raincoat?”

Nevermind that it wasn’t raining. This was the one solid raincoat I inherited from a friend and it was indeed I. Magnin. No visible label, no logo. Black, belt around the waist, hood, and very comfortable.

“How did you know?”

”I just do.”

Wow. She forgot to mention my $15 black strappy heels.

Hadrian's Wall

I joined a friend for dinner yesterday and although we stand on different sides of the political fence, he pointed out something that I hadn't thought of but was almost blatantly obvious. We were discussing the plight of education in this country and he said:

Do you ever notice that when you read the BBC News, things like Hadrian's Wall are never explained? It goes without saying that people (in Europe) know what it is. When you read U.S. news sources and they discuss, for example, the Mason-Dixon line, it's followed by a summary because it's a part of history not everyone knows.

One more reason not to cut education funding in this country.

41 years

My parents celebrate 41 years of marriage this week.

Growing up I remember watching how difficult it was for friends with divorced parents, it wasn’t the norm at the time. At some point the tables turned and I became the odd person out because my parents were still married. Funny how things change.

My parents are best friends. It is borderline nutty how madly in love my dad still is with my mom. He still calls her if he’s out and asks if he can pick anything up for her. He still makes coffee and good breakfasts. He listens. He gives her space. And she does the same for him.

When I was 21, I remember going through a really rough time with a guy I was dating. I thought he had potential but what did I know, he was my first “serious serious” boyfriend. In hindsight I was seriously delusional. But I was finally at that age where the juicy family stories begin to be shared and I remember my dad’s roundabout way of providing advice. He said:

You know, there was a time when it would have been easy to leave. But my life wouldn’t be half as fun without your mom and I chose to work through any problems we had.

I'm not sure that's verbatim but that’s the day I knew I was screwed forever. I knew from that point on I could never settle for less than someone willing to fight for me without being asked. It’s also the day I should have broken up with my boyfriend but that would happen soon enough.

My parents are a team. They have celebrated immense highs and suffered extreme lows and like any great team, they have a story about how it all began. I won’t give it away but it starts like this:

She was a foreign exchange student. He had never met anyone like her…

They speak Swedish in Sweden

Sometimes the local do-it-yourself car wash stalls unintentionally help you meet new people. Usually because the machine that only takes dollars in exchange for tokens is rejecting your crispy new bills that you purposely saved for the event.

It happened to me recently. And as I went back to my car to dig for crispier dollar bills that I knew didn't exist but hoped would miraculously appear, a gentleman pulled into the next stall and fed the machine dollar upon dollar with zero problem. I should have asked him to help me select the winning Lotto numbers with his luck.

At this point I had made my way back to the machine in time for his last dollar to be fed, and upon seeing my dilemma he kindly offered to trade some of my dysfunctional dollars for his beloved dollars. We got to talking, checked out each other's vehicles and he asked, "What's that 'S' on the back of your car stand for?"

"Sweden," I said.

"Oh, neat, so you're Swedish. Do they speak Swiss or Sweden there?" he asked.

"They speak Swedish in Sweden," I said.

"You speak it?" he asked.

"I sure do," I replied. "That's all my mom speaks to me."

"I'd love to go to Switzerland someday," he said.

"You should go to Sweden when you have the chance, it's a beautiful country," I said.

I said thanks again and we exchanged friendly goodbyes before we headed off to our stalls for a fast rinse, scrub, wash, wax marathon in the limited time the tokens provided. And while scrubbing away and trying not to miss a spot, I had to wonder how this kind middle-aged gentleman in his green Chevy Suburban who probably had two or three grade school aged kids didn't know more about geography. He's not the first person to confuse Sweden and Switzerland.

Spam unites strangers

I was met with a lovely message in my work inbox Wednesday from someone I've never met: I can't read these things at my work. Please don't send anymore. I don't even know who you are, but I keep getting mail from you. Beneath her note she had forwarded a message from MY address that read: Please read the important document. A note I would never send without a hello or goodbye.

It took a moment to let the message digest. Who, what, why are these messages being sent? I am notorious for locking or shutting down my computer when away from my desk, so it must be some kind of wacky-virus-computer-thing issue. I clearly had no clue. I replied to the message, apologized and cc'd her on a note to our IT department.

In the meantime, this stranger and I shared a string of discussion about spam and work. She made the spam-fighting effort on both our parts worth it by replying to one message: Thank you so much for addressing this. I don't know you, but I like you already. Who knew that two lines was all it took to make my day?!

I later received word from IT that a machine was infected with a worm that was sending spam mail through its contact list. All was fixed but who knows how many other people are receiving odd messages from legitimate addresses. I don't have the answer but I know this: I'm never throwing away the kind reply from my spam-fighting acquaintance.

Act of kindness

I had to drive to Sacramento for a work-related project and one Adopt a Highway sign I passed was sponsored by Random Act of Kindness. Made my day.

Photo taken Wednesday driving over the Altamont Pass into the central valley.

Not another bad decision

The idea of moving has crossed my mind since the current administration came into office and I just read that it gets to make yet another bad decision. Oops, did I say "bad" out loud? Alan Greenspan is stepping down in January and I'm worried who will be selected to become the next Federal Reserve boss.

How much longer will this country screw itself, pardon the expression, before people realize that taxes are useful in many cases, more people fall into poverty in this country each year, you get a tax break (in CA) for driving a big ol' smog-inducing Hummer, and following one religion as a nation isn't something we should encourage?

Okay, stepping off the soapbox now.

Unchanging change

An independent bookstore near me was saved!!

Maybe the world isn’t heading into as steep of a downward spiral as I thought.

Politicians let us down, nobody responds to a friendly hello anymore and everything is starting to look too similar, down to homes, stores and in extreme cases, people. Even my sacred IKEA in East Palo Alto looks exactly like IKEA in Sweden – wait, that’s not actually a bad thing. Point is, daily findings and experiences can be downright depressing but every now and then an uplifting story comes along and highlights reasons to find inspiration and try harder.

This local bookstore was and is, if you will, an icon in this area. It has been around since the ‘50s and has a great selection of reading materials in an atmosphere that begs one to return. The thought of it closing was too much for the community to ignore and it now has financial backing and volunteer support from area residents. I thought the meaning of community was dead but this goes to show that people can pull together and make great things happen.

Change is inevitable but it feels good knowing that exceptional places sometimes get to stay. And it’s all thanks to the community that made change, or unchange, happen.

Sunrise... sort of

I'm on deadline and have been coming in early to work this week.

Even though the driving and slow shutter speed resulted in a blurry photo, I do enjoy the blend of street lights with natural light.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

At 15, I didn’t know anyone with cancer. I heard stories but it was always about people who seemed very distant or unreal.

At 28, I know at least five people and five friend-of-a-friend individuals who have, had, or lost their life to breast cancer. I have a dear relative abroad with a blood-related cancer. I lost a very close family friend to a lymph node cancer. I know two people who are no longer here because of brain tumors. I have one family friend abroad whose breast cancer is spreading to her brain.*

Between ages 15 and 28, I learned something very important:

It doesn’t matter if we don’t know anyone with cancer. It matters that we care and support one another as humans.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

* She passed away October 8, 2005 in Sweden.